1
00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:22,799
ALL CHANT: Chop, chop,
chop, chop, chop!

2
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,959
OK, so this might take
a bit of explaining.

3
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,079
ALL CHANT: Chop,
chop, chop, chop, chop!

4
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:30,759
CHANTING CONTINUES

5
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:33,039
But it's going to have to be quick.

6
00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:34,760
Chop, chop.

7
00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:37,840
Sorry about this.

8
00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:40,720
Here comes the rewind!

9
00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:48,759
{\an8}So, me and Jess are currently
having a free throw comp.

10
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:49,999
{\an8}Just a bit of fun...

11
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,720
{\an8}...that I absolutely must win.

12
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,079
{\an8}Yes!

13
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,079
{\an8}Oh, yeah.

14
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:00,799
{\an8}That's 5-0, Meefa.

15
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:04,079
{\an8}Next one to miss loses.
State the obvious much?

16
00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,239
Yes, I do, Nyla.

17
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,600
Now I'm going to score.

18
00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:13,279
Now Aoife will miss
and lose the bet we made.

19
00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:15,719
Hmm! Aoife?

20
00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,440
What bet?

21
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,879
How about whichever team loses

22
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:25,119
has to change their team's name to
The Losers for a whole week?

23
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:26,600
Hmm...

24
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,279
Hurry up and lose, Meefa.

25
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:31,840
Like I'm going to miss.

26
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,000
Oops.

27
00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,479
So now everyone's calling us
The Losers,

28
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,239
and there's nothing
we can do about it.

29
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,919
You kids exaggerate
a billion times a day.

30
00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:00,039
I'm sure it's not everyone.

31
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,159
EVERYONE: Losers! Losers! Losers!
Losers! Losers! Losers! Losers!

32
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:04,680
CHANTING CONTINUES

33
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:12,079
At least it's just for a week.
But what if it sticks?

34
00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:15,279
It took ages for The Vipers
to put respect on our names.

35
00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,439
And now it's gone,
thanks to Jessica.

36
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,999
And me, I suppose.

37
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,919
But I just need to smash
this loser tag,

38
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:27,639
this Jessica, and these eggs.

39
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:30,079
If it's a fight you're after,
we've got a battle re-enactment

40
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,119
as part of
Interactive History Week.

41
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,799
No, thanks.
Sounds well weird.

42
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,959
There is nothing weird about playing
a historical character

43
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:41,559
in full costume to educate your
fellow students.

44
00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,559
It's like he can't see himself.

45
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,399
Your brother is using his
big history brain

46
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,079
to play the queen's
special little adviser.

47
00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:52,599
Just special adviser, Mum.
Stop adding little.

48
00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,319
The lads think it sounds daft,
but they'll change their tune

49
00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,079
when they see my Venetian breeches.

50
00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:58,759
HORN BLARES

51
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,639
Think I'll wear my own breeches,
thank you.

52
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:03,519
I'm awesome being myself.

53
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:05,839
Yourself? You mean a LOSER!

54
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,759
ECHOING: Loser! Loser! Loser...

55
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,719
Sign up, will you, love?

56
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:13,119
Not many people have,
and Jim's nervous

57
00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:15,999
because Mr Holt's on holiday
and left him in charge.

58
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,519
You'll be the boss of everyone
if you play Queen Victoria.

59
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:23,159
Victoria? Jim, this whole
week's about Queen Elizabeth I.

60
00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,599
Who's he?
HORN BLARES

61
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,399
Oh, no! Conor lecture incoming.

62
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,639
Elizabeth I ruled over this
country's Golden Age.

63
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:34,879
She inspired my sweet threads,
revitalised art and literature.

64
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:37,679
Her ships defeated the mighty
Spanish Armada

65
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:41,759
in an epic battle and...
This could go on for a while.

66
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:46,559
She kept her own cousin, Mary, Queen
of Scots, prisoner for 18 years.

67
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,879
Which seems harsh,
but family can be annoying.

68
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:51,200
Rude!

69
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:55,480
But she does sound like a legend.

70
00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:00,479
And this boaty battle thingy,
that's on Friday, yeah?

71
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:01,999
Thursday, Jim.

72
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:06,600
We're recreating Queen Elizabeth's
epic victory on the playing field.

73
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,919
So, this Queen Elizabeth person
gets to be Conor's boss,

74
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,999
have their own captive,
and win a battle

75
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,359
in front of the entire school!

76
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:16,679
Hmm.

77
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,799
The Vipers are winners. Say it!

78
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:22,919
ALL CHANT: Winners! Winners!
Winners! Winners!

79
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,560
CHANTING CONTINUES

80
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:31,279
Sign me up, Jim.

81
00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:33,040
I'm playing a queen.

82
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,079
Which queen was that again?

83
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,999
You know, what Conor said.

84
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,519
The prison one with the... cousin?

85
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:44,399
Right. Uh... Oh, and make sure
there's a jail cell,

86
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:48,239
and that Jessica plays
the other cousin.

87
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,399
Other cousin. Right.

88
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,160
Hmm.

89
00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:00,120
STRANGLED NOTE

90
00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:04,399
I can play that thing with my nose,
you know? That's gross!

91
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:08,559
The queen commands the following
students take part in History Week.

92
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:11,039
Please not Clanger, please not
Clanger. Please not Clanger.

93
00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,119
Clanger. But I said please!

94
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,239
And Ben.

95
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:18,279
Everyone wants a bit of Ben.

96
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:19,800
RENAISSANCE MUSIC

97
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:23,279
I thought you'd be happy
I got you out of lessons.

98
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,759
Not when you have us pushing
an actual pretend well.

99
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,679
Which I notice you're not doing.

100
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,520
William Cecil doesn't
do manual labour.

101
00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:35,359
Who? My incredibly high-achieving
character.

102
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:37,759
It's just pretend.
Not this week, it's not.

103
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:41,639
The whole point of interactive
learning is living like it's real.

104
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,279
Don't you want to win
the battle for your queen?

105
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:48,759
To recreate the sights,
the sounds, the smells?

106
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,959
Smells? I want that job.

107
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,119
Smells isn't a job, Clanger.

108
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,279
Well, advise Queeny to
make it one then.

109
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:57,359
Oh, make us King while you're at it.

110
00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:58,959
She didn't have a king.

111
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,239
A prince then.

112
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,360
My hair's too good to be
anything less.

113
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:08,399
If I do this, you two take part

114
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,839
and admit that history,

115
00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:14,319
and by association, me,

116
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,119
are very cool. Mmm. Mmm.

117
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,360
I'm taking that as a yes.

118
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,119
Ta-dah!

119
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,479
Bow before your queen.

120
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,919
First job,
bowing lessons for everyone.

121
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,879
I've been called
a loser 15 times today.

122
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,439
Twice by teachers.

123
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:33,599
All thanks to you.

124
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:37,279
Ha! Thanks to Your Majesty, actually.

125
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:41,239
Aoife, your stupid bet could mean
we're known as The Losers forever.

126
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:43,719
We won't. Watch this.

127
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,719
Boy!

128
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,680
Your queen requires
fizzy drinks.

129
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,879
That was impressive!

130
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,639
That's nothing.

131
00:06:56,640 --> 00:07:00,079
Chair girl, I wish to sit down.

132
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,959
Ah!

133
00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:05,079
I forgot, I sent chair girl to
go get more chairs.

134
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:08,799
My point is, everyone has to
do what the queen says this week.

135
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,199
Ultimate girl boss.

136
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,399
Exactly.

137
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,959
So, when I, and my royal teamies,
win the battle,

138
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,999
it'll be like The Loser thing
never even happened.

139
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,719
In a way, we'll all be queens.

140
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:23,039
Yas, queen.

141
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:27,279
But only me, though, technically.

142
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,919
So, what do we do then?

143
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:33,640
I'm so glad she asked.

144
00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,679
Nyla, with your no-nonsense
toughness,

145
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:42,039
your queen commands you to be
chief jailer and executioner.

146
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,679
JIM VOCALISES

147
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,599
One jail, Your Majesty.

148
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,399
Where's my executioner's weapons?

149
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,519
Weapons, weapons, weapons.

150
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,599
A toilet brush?

151
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,519
You do have an axe, but I lost it.

152
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:57,679
But I'll find it! Don't brush me.

153
00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,839
And, Char, your wicked style

154
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,639
makes you a perfect lady-in-waiting.

155
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:07,359
This dress would
look adorby on you...

156
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,439
...and hide your massive feet.

157
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:10,999
She's right.

158
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,759
They're enormous.

159
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:17,359
Zara, you'll be designing
and making ships for the battle.

160
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:20,239
Because of my keen interest
in naval warfare?

161
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,359
My design credentials?

162
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,079
My geometry scores?

163
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,000
Yeah... all of that.

164
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,360
It was the only job left, wasn't it?

165
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,039
Oh! And you should make some stocks,

166
00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,559
ready for when we chop
Jessica's head off.

167
00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:38,320
SCREAMING

168
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:46,199
Aoife, why are all the clothes
with your name on so...

169
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:47,519
...raggedy?

170
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:51,559
Jim, who's Mary, Queen of Scots?

171
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:53,119
The one you wanted to play.

172
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:56,760
The queen with the cousin,
the... prison one.

173
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:01,519
Who? I explained this.

174
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,479
Queen Elizabeth had
a Scottish cousin,

175
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:07,279
Mary, Queen of Scots, who wanted
to be Queen of England, too.

176
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,039
So Elizabeth threw her in jail,

177
00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,839
and she was never let out.

178
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:16,679
Never? So I've gone from being the
queen of winning everything

179
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,839
to being stuck in that thing all
week?

180
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,919
No, no, no. Of course not.

181
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,999
You get beheaded on Wednesday.

182
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:27,199
Headless is a bold look,
but I can work with it.

183
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,759
The battle's on Thursday.

184
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,279
How am I supposed to beat Spain
without a head?

185
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:34,840
You won't. Whoever's playing
Queen Elizabeth will.

186
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,720
The queen with the cousin!

187
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,919
Oh, Meefa, the bars really suit you.

188
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,199
Annoyingly, she's right.

189
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,159
I'm totally pulling this off.

190
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,079
I wasn't going to get involved,

191
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,639
but then Jim said how much you
wanted me to play your cousin.

192
00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,079
Oh, great.
It's my fault, again.

193
00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,399
How could I refuse such a kind
offer from my favourite loser?

194
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,559
Mm-hm.
You're still our queen.

195
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:05,959
Actually, losers,
I'm the queen you work for.

196
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,999
And I've got lots of work for you to
do, so you'll be coming with me.

197
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,399
Take her away, jailer.

198
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:11,599
Do I have to?

199
00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:13,200
Your Majesty?

200
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,959
Yes, please. Find my axe.

201
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:22,279
Enjoy it while it lasts, cos I'm
totally not taking this lying down.

202
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:23,480
Ah!

203
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,519
Kind of think you are, cuz.

204
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:30,599
Could this be any more humiliating?

205
00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:31,959
Ha-ha, loser!

206
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,679
ALL CHEER

207
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:36,480
Turns out the answer was
a very soggy yes.

208
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:43,839
Says here Mary, Queen of Scots
was well treated in prison.

209
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,239
ALL CHEER

210
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,839
The queen thought throwing wet
sponges at her would be more fun.

211
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,119
ALL CHEER

212
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,519
She was right.

213
00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:52,760
Great work, gang.

214
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,599
They literally never miss.

215
00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:58,760
How big must my face be?

216
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:12,079
Are we allowed to
be in Mr Holt's office?

217
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:15,079
I can go where I please
because I am queen.

218
00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,479
Uh, of course.
My apologies, Your Majesty.

219
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,439
What do you want from me?

220
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:22,999
A favour, Your Majesty.

221
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,199
If you could make my friend,
Ben, royalty,

222
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,279
that would mean a lot to me
personally.

223
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:32,799
And I have been a loyal servant
for many years.

224
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,399
And you are?

225
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:37,839
William Cecil, your special adviser.

226
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,359
Ugh, fine.

227
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,359
Tell Jim to make Ben King of Spain.

228
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,439
He can lose the battle to me.

229
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:44,679
Small detail,

230
00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:47,719
the Spanish King wasn't
actually at the battle.

231
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,679
It looks better if I beat the King,
so make that happen.

232
00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:54,199
OK? Tell him to cry when he loses.

233
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,119
That's not historically accurate.

234
00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,079
Isn't it your job to do
whatever your queen demands?

235
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,400
Well, yes.

236
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,719
Yes, Your Majesty.

237
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:05,959
Good.

238
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,440
Then stand on one leg.

239
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:15,840
Now flap your arms like a swan.

240
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:21,319
But make a noise like a cow.

241
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:26,239
Uh, m... moo, moo, moo, moo, moo!

242
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,679
I'm going to enjoy this.

243
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,599
I don't suppose now would be a good
time to ask you to appoint

244
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:33,359
a Minister of Smells?

245
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:37,000
I mean, moo, moo, moo.

246
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,479
Where are you going in such a hurry?

247
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:47,079
To resign from my exalted position
as special adviser for Her Majesty.

248
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,400
You? Same thing,
just way less nerdy.

249
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,119
There they are, my two saviours.

250
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,479
So, about that, Jim.

251
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,519
I'm trying to save
the Vipers' reputation.

252
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,439
I thought this would be a disaster,
but you got so many people involved,

253
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,159
I feel like I should be paying you.

254
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:04,119
I can't, though, cos I'm saving up
for a new gold track suit.

255
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,519
That's great, Jim, but...

256
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,039
Yeah, but listen, Mr Holt will

257
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:10,639
be well-impressed if I pull
this off, and so, will I!

258
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:11,999
Yes!

259
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,639
We can't resign now.

260
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,959
He seems so... happy.

261
00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,720
Like Clanger with a mouldy potato.

262
00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,519
Oi, jails can't move!

263
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,159
Ow! Do you have to be so rough?

264
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:26,079
If I'm going to play a character,
might as well commit to it.

265
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:30,880
Well, that's just given me
a wee beastie of an idea.

266
00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,719
King of Spain?

267
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,399
You're not happy?

268
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,599
No.

269
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:38,960
Which is Spanish for "no".

270
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,519
You wanted to be royalty.

271
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,319
Well, obviously.

272
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,559
I'm fluent in Spanglish,

273
00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:47,399
and handsome enough.

274
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,279
You still have a better job
than Clanger.

275
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:50,760
Yeah.

276
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,520
CEREMONIAL MUSIC PLAYS

277
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,280
LAUGHTER

278
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,439
HORSE WHINNIES, MUSIC STOPS

279
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:10,879
You did this to me!

280
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,160
LAUGHTER

281
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:22,599
My loyal subjects, as you know,
I am the best queen that ever lived.

282
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,320
You may now applaud.

283
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:29,119
Please, please take this opportunity

284
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,599
to learn more about how
incredible I am,

285
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,999
how brilliant life was
because of me.

286
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,999
And make sure to book your tickets
for this battle

287
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,479
with the Spanish Armada.

288
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,599
Join us live for the naval takedown

289
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:41,879
of the 16th century,

290
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,799
when Queen Elizabeth's
English fleet takes on

291
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,560
the mighty Spanish Armada.

292
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:49,919
Which I will win,

293
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,919
for you, my loyal subjects.

294
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:55,120
DOOR OPENS, FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

295
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:03,360
CELTIC MUSIC PLAYS

296
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,800
I love a good bagpipe.

297
00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,119
IN A SCOTTISH ACCENT:
Is anyone hungry?

298
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,840
Cos you're talking pure mince,
by the way.

299
00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,359
Guards, seize her.

300
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:20,919
And take me where?

301
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,919
I'm already in jail,
you dozy wee loser queen.

302
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:25,919
LAUGHTER

303
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,200
She has a point, Your Maj.

304
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:31,159
You can tell who's got the brains
in this family, eh?

305
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:32,999
Silence. I order you to...

306
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,479
GASPING

307
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,519
Freedom!

308
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:37,919
CHEERING

309
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,640
You two, come with me.

310
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,839
Bin this.

311
00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:48,479
I'm wearing my own hair from now on.

312
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:52,919
But the real queen's hair was burnt
amber, with a hint of orangutan.

313
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:54,279
I'm the real queen!

314
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,719
You're The Losers.

315
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,679
And you can find me
better clothes, too.

316
00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,399
More modern ones?

317
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,040
And you, stop building boats!

318
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:04,599
But I'm a boat builder.

319
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,239
Now you're a jail builder.

320
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:09,199
I need one with no leg holes
or head holes.

321
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,039
A plain box then?

322
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,119
It's what a loser deserves.

323
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:16,919
No-one will be calling us that
after what Aoife just did.

324
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,800
HE SMIRKS

325
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:24,479
On second thought,
maybe not a plain box after all.

326
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:25,760
"Loser Viper Jail"?

327
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:28,759
So much for the name not sticking.

328
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:33,079
Jessica forced me to make it, and
then she arrested me as a traitor.

329
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,319
OTHERS: Us, too.

330
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,839
I totally did.

331
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:37,879
Cos traitors are losers.

332
00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,719
Now, where's my Minister of Smells?

333
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,600
FLUTE PLAYS MELODY

334
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,239
I thought you were a horse.

335
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,079
I got promoted
for a special mission.

336
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:50,199
Go put your pocket cheese
in the Vipers' loser cell.

337
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,839
ALL: Pocket cheese?

338
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,519
It smells worse than Conor's feet!
Oi!

339
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,400
Thanks. Oh, before I forget.

340
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,919
As you were so funny earlier,
you can be my new jester, too.

341
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:04,400
Now do a funny dance.

342
00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:07,319
Like she's going to do that.

343
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:08,999
It's going really well, Mr Holt.

344
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,239
And it looks like Aoife's about
to perform a new character.

345
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:12,560
Listen.

346
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:20,599
? Diggety-dee, diggety-doo
Diggety-dah

347
00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,840
? And whoops... Doo. ?
LAUGHTER

348
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,719
What? No, no.

349
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,400
I didn't get it either,
but the kids were loving it.

350
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:33,839
Aoife.

351
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,920
I can't wait for tomorrow's
executions.

352
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,039
There's only meant to be one.

353
00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:42,479
Four stinky losers, four executions.

354
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:45,719
And did I mention we're going to
film them for the school website?

355
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,199
She can't do that.

356
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:49,079
Can she do that? I totally can.

357
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:50,279
She totally can.

358
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:54,759
I emailed Mr Holt about it,
and he thinks it's such a good idea.

359
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:59,560
So now everyone can watch me winning
and you losing... forever.

360
00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:03,400
I can still smell the pocket cheese.

361
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,279
No appetite, you two?

362
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:11,639
Aoife's getting her head
chopped off tomorrow.

363
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,359
So she is. That'll be fun.

364
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,840
Yeah. Uh.

365
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:17,760
We're selling tickets.

366
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,439
I can't let her humiliate us
like this?

367
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,799
We'll be known as losers forever.

368
00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,879
CHILDREN CHANT
Losers! Losers! Losers!

369
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,559
I just wanted to show the lads
that history could be cool,

370
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,879
but Jessica keeps rewriting it.

371
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:33,439
Maybe we could do that, too.

372
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:34,599
Rewrite history?

373
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:35,719
Think about it.

374
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,999
Jessica losing the battle would
be a crazy plot twist.

375
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,199
Everyone would be talking about it.

376
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:43,400
{\an8}MUSIC: Cabeza Loca by Granados,
Roberto Rojas, Juan Carlos...

377
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,199
Mm. I do like that.

378
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,999
Ah! But it does go against
my principle of doing anything

379
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,000
not historically accurate.

380
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,999
Did Mary, Queen of Scots,
really wear this ridiculous thing?

381
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,239
No wonder nobody voted for her.

382
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,440
? Da-da-da-da-da-dah! ?

383
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:08,399
I'm in. Yes!

384
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,920
And I've got the perfect plan.

385
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:15,440
First, I sneak out of my cell,
using a devious lie.

386
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:19,239
And while the Vipers gain
support for the revolution...

387
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,479
Mary, Queen of Scots,
is busy looking at memes,

388
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,799
as she often did in 1567,

389
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,680
on her... wooden phone.

390
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,199
Don't care if it's not practical -

391
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,519
I want a gold boat!

392
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,160
Gold!

393
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,480
And then, we plot to overthrow
the evil queen.

394
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,800
What's that?

395
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,559
"Secret meeting."

396
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,440
Who put that there?

397
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,720
"Conor"?

398
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,560
Sh, sh!

399
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,599
Pretty clever if I say so myself.

400
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:18,999
SHE WHISPERS
And I do.

401
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,719
OK. This is kind of cool.

402
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,719
And a plot to overthrow the queen
is entirely accurate,

403
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,679
historically speaking.

404
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,359
You're ruining-innit,

405
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:29,999
Clanger-ly speaking.

406
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,480
I'll go drum up more support.

407
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,119
When Jessica tries to execute me
and the Vipers,

408
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:38,279
I'll give the signal
to our supporters.

409
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,319
They'll set us free, and everyone
will follow us to the battle,

410
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,719
where the Vipers will show
the entire school how to win...

411
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,119
...with style.

412
00:20:46,120 --> 00:20:48,759
Why should I go along with this?

413
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,399
Because I'll make you look good.

414
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,879
HE SCOFFS

415
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,159
I don't need help with that.

416
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:56,199
He does.

417
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,279
Jessica's just trying
to beat you quickly

418
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,119
so she can do her boring speech.

419
00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,319
I'll give you a hero's death,

420
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,359
pure Hollywood.

421
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,120
What about me? What do I get?

422
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,759
Pocket cheese!

423
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:13,560
I'm sure the King is in need
for a Master of Smells.

424
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,320
Nothing can stop me now.

425
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,360
The Scottish Queen
appreciates your support.

426
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,399
It's all very exciting.

427
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:28,479
Oh, Mr Holt wants me
to film the event for him.

428
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:29,719
That's good, isn't it?

429
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,479
If it's not historically accurate,

430
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,599
he'll make me do all the rubbish
jobs no-one else wants.

431
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:34,799
Like what?

432
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,559
Lunchtime detentions,
spell-checking graffiti,

433
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,160
stopping birds doing
the toilet on his car.

434
00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:45,840
What's that, Hawky? You're so hungry
you could eat 50 pigeons?

435
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,559
Wouldn't have time
to coach bouncy ball.

436
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,079
It's going to be great, Jim,
especially with Aoife

437
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,839
and Conor helping out.

438
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,439
Well, mainly Conor.

439
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:56,640
Yeah.

440
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,319
Isn't that right, Conor?

441
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:04,879
How do you know I'm here?

442
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,800
Because I'm your mum,
and also you breathe really loudly.

443
00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:13,159
There's a lot resting on this
for Jim and the Vipers.

444
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,440
It is going to go well, isn't it?

445
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,160
Only if I can get to Aoife on time.

446
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:26,639
Hmm... Mary, Queen of Scots,

447
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,120
AKA Aoife, Queen of Losers.

448
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,479
Not for long.

449
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,199
I hereby sentence you to...

450
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,559
I reject your sentence.

451
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:40,879
Now! Now is the time to rise up
against this evil queen.

452
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,479
Follow me into the battle,

453
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:45,119
and I will defeat the Spanish king,

454
00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:48,079
for you, my people.

455
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,600
Now, who's with me?

456
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,519
I said,

457
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,520
"Who's with me?"

458
00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,440
Seriously, who's with me?

459
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,400
Looks like your little
revolution has failed.

460
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,119
We can't get the history wrong.

461
00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:11,880
Conor said we'd lose Jim as a coach.

462
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:14,280
We had no choice.

463
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,119
And this is where we came in.

464
00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:32,399
Chop! chop!

465
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,519
ALL CHANT
Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop!

466
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:38,559
Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop!

467
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:40,039
Hey, that's my axe!

468
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,320
CHANTING CONTINUES

469
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,120
Sorry about this.

470
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,079
Can't lie,
look pretty awesome as a king?

471
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,279
And these stink bombs
absolutely reek.

472
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:58,359
Sniff.

473
00:23:58,360 --> 00:23:59,880
I'll take your word for it.

474
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:02,599
Does this mean that he was right?

475
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:06,999
That history and Conor can be cool?

476
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,039
All right,
but we can never tell him.

477
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,360
Agreed.

478
00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:14,400
CEREMONIAL MUSIC PLAYS

479
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:24,040
Where's Aoife?

480
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,239
Jessica's won, again.

481
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:28,799
And we've lost.

482
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:30,320
We're officially The Losers.

483
00:24:31,360 --> 00:24:33,159
Forever.

484
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,560
This really is the worst of times!

485
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,840
But the best of times
for a round-up.

486
00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,559
So, it all started when we had
to call ourselves The Losers

487
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,319
because "someone" made a bet.

488
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,159
It doesn't matter who.

489
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,839
So then I tried to change the past
in more ways than one,

490
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:55,199
but then I'd realise we'd lose Jim,
and nobody wanted that.

491
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,479
So now Jessica's going to win,
again,

492
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:00,719
and we're going to be stuck with
these stupid nicknames forever.

493
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,720
CHILDREN CHANT
Losers! Losers! Losers!

494
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,240
Unless...

495
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:09,159
Guys, it's not over.

496
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,519
Yes, it is.

497
00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,199
The battle's just beginning.

498
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:13,999
Like our battle's just beginning.

499
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:15,799
What are you going on about?

500
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,759
I was wrong.

501
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:19,919
We can't change what's happened,

502
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,959
but we can change what does happen.

503
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:24,679
Starting now.

504
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:28,200
How? Jessica wins like always.

505
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,200
But SHE doesn't.

506
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,520
Queen Elizabeth does.

507
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,879
ALL: Aaaaaaaaaarghhhhhh!

508
00:25:42,880 --> 00:25:45,640
EXPLOSIONS AND CRASHING

509
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:50,999
Yes. Come on, smash them!

510
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,120
No. No, no, no, no, no! Oh, what?!

511
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:55,879
Ooh!

512
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,719
Oh, here you are, Mr Holt.

513
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:03,079
Jessica's Queen Elizabeth is just
about to defeat Ben's Spanish King.

514
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,799
Oh, no! Oh!

515
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:06,999
Oh, uh, not king, uh, duke.

516
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,479
Very well-dressed duke with a... with
a king's, uh, hat on.

517
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:13,159
I thought Aoife would have
at least come out to watch.

518
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,239
Well, how? She's not got a head.

519
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,800
Oh, yeah.

520
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:20,519
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

521
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:24,599
? God save our gracious queen

522
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:27,639
? Long live our noble queen... ?

523
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,159
Uh-oh! Oh!

524
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:30,960
? God save our queen. ?

525
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:33,840
What? No, this is good.

526
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,639
No matter what,
Queen Elizabeth will win. Ah. Oh.

527
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:38,799
All right, Vipers,

528
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,640
time to show everyone who
the real queens of Midvale are.

529
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,520
Charge!

530
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,559
You have to lose to me. Lie down!

531
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:50,559
Nah. Not my style.

532
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,959
Smells Master,
let's go out in glory.

533
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,280
THEY SHOUT

534
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:58,879
THEY GRUNT

535
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:00,479
What is this?

536
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,599
Ew! Ew! Ew!

537
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,519
Yes! Yes! Yes!

538
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,960
Charge!

539
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,240
THEY SHOUT

540
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,640
THEY GROAN IN SLOW MOTION

541
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:27,559
THEY CHEER, FANFARE PLAYS

542
00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:28,959
Very cool.

543
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,799
That's how winning's done,
Holty Baby!

544
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,239
Viper style!

545
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,040
ALL: Woo!

546
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,799
You can cut that last bit out, right?

547
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,679
But it's a live stream.

548
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,679
MR HOLT OVER PHONE: Did she just
call me "Holty Baby"?

549
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:45,360
It'll grow on him.

550
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,760
? Do-do-doo, do-do-do-doo

551
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,520
{\an8}? Do-do-doo, do-do-do-doo. ?

552
00:28:03,570 --> 00:28:08,120
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